On Manhood
An excerpt from the preface of a book I started writing. Uploaded on September 29, 2026
My own experience and my interactions with others has shown me that many people operate using a false narrative. A lot of men still think that going to school, landing a job, buying a house, marrying a woman, and having kids is the dream and will result in happiness. As a man, a particular series of these events does sound appealing. Which one would bring about the most happiness? There is a lot of nuance to take into account. There is also an importance on the order of the events in the series. For example, having kids, marrying a woman, landing a job, going to school, then buying a house, doesn’t sound so appealing. It sounds like a lot of stress to start off with no job, have kids, have a shotgun wedding, find a job to support yourself and the family you made, then go to school to upgrade your skill set, then find a way to buy a house some day.
Think of how many people you know, yourself included, that hold these events as important milestones. Now, how many of those people got the formula right? Divorce rates, single-parent homes, social welfare, student loan debt, unemployment, and homelessness is at a quantitative high at the time I am writing this.
We as humans want to live with the times. With that said, many of us still dwell on the past or dream in the future. We are unable to acknowledge and accept what is right in front of us. The present is seemingly unseeable. We can assume McTaggart’s A Theory of time is a reality. The present is the only reality. The past is no more and the future is an unrealized idea, yet we yearn for them. We yearn for things that are not real.